Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Tires and Heaters and Trash Oh My!

Today is black Tuesday. I went to the grocery store and came out to a flat tire.

I was at the store for the bank. Which I had accidentally overdrawn..opps.

Brittany called and the heater is out, kaputt, no workee. Xcel energy says if we have a working water heater, it is not their problem.

Yesterday the trash men skipped our block, again. So we called today and they said

OK we will send out a supervisor (to see if you are telling the truth?).

Basically, it has rained poop today. AND there is no snow.

In Colorado

The Mile High City

and it's like 28 degrees outside. But no snow.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

early what?

So we had an early Christmas at my daughters house. Since I survived that, I can live through anything. On the way home Kale said, and I quote: "I was a little angel at the early Christmas". I told Brittany to step on the gas so we would be missed by the lightning bolt which was sure to follow. The kids were actually very close to good, however angelic was NOT on the list of adjectives I would apply to any description of their behavior. For some reason the turkey did not turn out and took 2 extra hours to be done. All the kids were starving and very crabby by the time food was available. Also, the trip was punctuated by several whining complaints about how the kids were "bored". I don't want to get on that subject because it makes me very angry. Later after we got home and they quieted down to a dull roar spinning lightsabres and all, we discussed the merits of "angelic" silence.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's begining to look a lot like crisis

It is 6:35am and I am up and not functioning in a good way. Because we have no water! What a crap morning.
Before 8am I have to:
Go to work
Wash my hair and other places in the restroom sink
Go to the bank at 7am and make a deposit
Call the water company  and  possibly schedule the water back on today
Then start my workday
Perhaps this is a good day to call in sick?
The whys of this are not as important as the logistical snaffu of it. I get home at 5 or so every evening. The water company closes at 5:30. Do the 1/2 hour math on this one while holding on the phone for "the next available representative" after the 23 minute button pushing session to English, account #, what did you want, I'm sorry that is not a valid entry, marathon. Yea, they got cha. At 5:30pm exactly the phone cuts off and says that they are now closed. Now don't get me wrong this is not a rant on the water company, I created this problem by choosing to eat over paying the water bill but come on guys could you make it any harder to pay? No they could not.
This will educate me for bill collectors in the future. I am modeling my answering machine after the water company's.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The fake son in law grin

Hipp Hipp Horay We have the Fake Son In Law Grin back for Christmas from Afghoweverinheckuspellit. He got here tonight. I can not wait to see the video of the reunion. There are several reasons I am glad to have him home.

1. While he was away I had many epiphanies regarding what he could be doing for us poor helpless womenfolk.
2. He was not here to let Tobi cry on his shoulder when her dad passed.
3. Man is the princess needy, she lost 1/2 her audience while he was gone.
4. I want to pick his brain and (battalion) and have him help us get an Army man for BD.
5. And maybe most importantly We get 2 Christmas' this year.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The 5th Monday of the week.

This week has sucked beyond all reckoning. Monday (the first one) I almost lost my job over something I did at work 3 years ago. I billed a company for a $210.00 per hour job at $ 210.00 a day. Needless to say the boss was involved in the discussion on how badly I screwed up. ( I wanted to say, "Gee maybe if someone noticed sooner, this would not have happened." But since that would probably have been the first nail in my coffin, I didn't say that. )
Tuesday (or second Monday as I like to think of it) Kale and Phoenix threw up on the way to school. While Phoenix was laying on the floor that night feeling really ill, Kale beat the dog snot out of Phoenix to the point that it looks like Phoenix was beaten by one of us older, stronger adults. His face, arms, and neck look terrible. To understand how horrible this is you have to understand Phoenix will be a fiction writer when he grows up. He has already started telling tall tales to me about how his mother "slapped him" out of his highchair when he was 3 because he would not eat. First of all, I would have made mince meat out of her if she had touched him. Secondly, if you saw Phoenix you would know he has never missed a meal and will eat virtually anything that doesn't crawl off the plate he is like 108 pounds at 8. So I knew we would be in for it either way when he got to school on Wednesday because the first thing the school does when a kid comes in with obvious marks is march that child down to the social services officer to be questioned. Seriously, he can not tell the truth that his 5 year old 38 pound brother whipped his fanny. That would be humiliating. So I could just see the police and Social services all over us. I spent the evening making him admit the truth to me over and over so we would not be facing jail time come Wednesday.
Wednesday when we got home from work there were news cameramen all over our block. Yes, we live in a crappy neighborhood with crack houses, knifing, shootings, gangs, etc.. But not that bad. I didn't think. So before we could go to the second job we had to hide out in the house waiting for the paparazzi to clear out. Meanwhile, I hear a giant screaming fit upstairs (that would be Kale). I'm talking loud. The paparazzi probably came down to our house at that point. Phoenix had turned on the second TV and it was louder than Kale's video game which of course could not be tolerated.
Thursday I had a doctors appointment. "lose weight, bla bla, exercise bla, hows your diet... bla bla"
Today is Friday. Half the job sucks and I work on that side. I forgot my lunch. My boss skived off after 10 am to go golf. The substitute dispatcher is the only guy working here I can't stand. I have a pounding headache and it is only noon.
Lunch break is over... back to work.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


As a sane, rational, normal Mother I have always given my children sage advice for life.
For example:
If you sit that close to the TV, you'll go blind.
Do not play with fire OR ever light the school on fire again.
Do not put anything smaller than your elbow in your nose.
Don't play in the street and look both ways before you cross the street.
Especially for my son: Marry in haste, repent at HER leisure with your money.
These are just a few of the bits of wisdom I have dispensed during their growing up years, and since they left the nest I have continued to add to this collection every now and then with advice from the Mothership.
Not that I am bossy or anything, but the phrase "Didn't I tell you not to" has prefaced many a (clearing of throat here) short talk on whichever catastrophic consequence just befell them.
And so I went blithely along thinking all my children were well grounded and practicing safety and relative sanity since the wrath of Mom meant one of these "short talks" AND I certainly had all my bases covered.
I did not think I needed to say "Never jump out of an airplane".
Then Tobi went and jumped out of an airplane. With about 1 hours training. With her fellow Mother of small children cousin Jennifer. Here in Colorado. Wearing nothing but matching t-shirts and jeans.
(Has anyone here seen those blow up sumo wrestling suits?)
What in the world would possess a 29 year old mother of 2 to jump from a plane? I don't care if Brad Pitt and a million dollars was on the ground right below me for the taking, I just can not imagine doing it.
Now in her defense, she screamed like a little girl and had to be thrown out of the plane. This shows a level of sanity I have come to expect from someone with my upbringing under her belt.
So I am
Saying it

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Fare thee well to the blues

Today I smashed another PortKey on the way to work and wondered if I have a manic depressive disease as I giggled gleefully down the road. Yesterday was blue, today is ultra cheerful. Well, not exactly ultra cheerful but so much better it is opposite.
Every morning for the last 2 or so years I have smashed a blue Pepsi can with my car tire on the way to work under a double bridge. It is always in the same spot, before the first bridge about 2 feet out away from it. After the 1st year of this BD and I started making up stories about how it is a "PortKey" from Harry Potter and there is a Wizard using these Pepsi cans to get to the Dragon Hatchery every morning. The place is really a refinery and smells terrible, spouts flames, has a huge holding tank... If you've read HP, you get the point. Anyway, the can is missing every once in a while and I wonder if today will be the day my secret Pepsi dropper stops dropping his can in the same spot.
I can't imagine what possesses whoever it is to drop a pop can with the top facing the same way in almost the exact same spot every day. I used to think well here is where he finishes it on the way to work and so he tosses the can out. But every day? Facing the same way? Always a Pepsi can? For 2 years? It is not like this spot is convenient either. It is under a double bridge for trains so I know it can not be coming from above. It would roll and be in a different spot now and then if it was not being placed carefully since this is a road, not a basket.
I also saw a couple of squibs cleaning up all the flattened cans a couple of times. Actually they were very strangely dressed with a basket and collecting cans on a tiny little-known road under a bridge in Commerce City, but hey can collecting is a job now a days, isn't it?
Anyway now it is several days later, the blues are gone and it is a new week! Happy Birthday to Phoenix!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ode to a dear friend

Today I am fighting the battle with the blues
I am fine most of the time, but sometimes I slap my cheerfulness aside
and have a wallow in "poor poor pitiful me". The last few days have been like this. Wage cuts at work have crippled us financially. We can't go to movies, or eat out, or buy clothes...anymore. Since I am an hourly employee with NO vacation or paid time off I can not afford to take any time off work either. One of my co-workers had surgery and this is his 6th week of part time. After taking a couple weeks off to recover. Now here is the clincher.. He is going out tomorrow with his friends to lunch. I know what you are thinking: He can't exist for long on part time wages. No, he is salary so he is NOT being paid at the part time rate. He is being paid to be there all day whether or not he shows up. Every day at the end of my 9 hour day, when I did not even get to go to the bathroom without forwarding the phones to my cell, I think to myself "Well if I had a kidney removed, I would want people around me to pick up the slack also." Then today he announces he is going out to lunch with his buddies tomorrow. Like showing up at 10am and leaving at 2pm is not a slap in the face enough. He is going out partying tomorrow for probably his usual hour and 45 minutes.Come on guy. If you are well enough to slurp margaritas and Mexican food, you're well enough for work where you sit on a chair all day and type.

Now for the other source of my blues: my second job. Today my boss offered to let me and Brittany make some extra $. He wants us to clean a filthy warehouse with mouse doodoo, live rats, foxes, squirrels, and bugs, etc.. for $12.00 an hour. I mean OK it is cleaning and we already do clean the other place but I keep thinking the guy means to make up for the inequity in making someone take a pay cut who was already making way less than half what the others were making. AND working 2 jobs for him to make ends meet.
There is a guy at my work who makes over $30.00 per hour. My boss lets him have a company car and phone. This guy lies on his hours constantly and they let it slide. He refuses to come to work a lot and they let it slide. He breaks the rules a lot and they let it slide. Have I mentioned I do the payroll? This is an every week thing.
Screw it, I will go to work. I will do my fair share and the extra which has fallen on my lap. I will take my $11.90 per hour and eat hot dogs with the kids and attempt to be grateful. I am blessed. And I have 2 jobs.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Don't give up, give over

These last few weeks have been icky. My workload is doubled, We have a flat tire, our second job is in Jeopardy, the fence is falling down, I got a flat tire Sunday, and the windshield will NOT last through the first snow we get. Joel is in Arachanidia or some such crappy place, Tobi is having a hard time, Needless to say we need help.
I am finishing this post, 2 days later:
Today Tobi bought me a windshield and a tire. Then Robert's family came and gave him some $, and he paid a bill for me. Needless to say I can see angels and blessings all around me tonight.
The world just keeps going even when you need it to stop for a minute and let you rest. Right now that world is going really fast. I forgot my shot this morning and had to take it to work with me. Then on the way home it got hot. I hope no damage was done. My workmate is STILL taking 1/2 days off every day. This is like week 5 or 6 since his surgery. Since he is salary, that's ok for him. Meanwhile I am so far behind I think I'm first and my boss just keeps looking at me like I have some sort of mental deficiency. I actually will be really suprized if I come out of the deal without one.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Job like existance

First gripe:
So, not one video to show for a month of owning a video camera. Just because you have it doesn't mean you have the brains to use it. (insert heavy sigh here). I blame Joel. Did he really have to take off in the middle of Warren's funeral? Just cause you are in the US Army and being deployed.
Hey, others of us have needs too! I wanted the wizard to whack his manly I.T. stick on the darn camera and show me how cool it can be taking video's of the kiddies.
I am too wary of the wrath of my daughters to ask one of them, and WAY too old to figure it out on my own.
No doubt part of this fear is bad memories of me learning to text. It was ugly. Not just bad looking, really home-made, stuck with this or nothing, beat with a stick ugly.
Job is losing this one, his sackcloth and ashes are all over my crappy red camera.
On to problem #2:
Sarah's darling Justinotherstark starts Kindergarten soon. That is the end of my grandbaby's. The wretched loins of my children have dried up at 10 grandkids. I was sooooo far ahead of those Wilkinsons till R. & J. had the quints. Now I'm eating the rear dust of this race and they have a lot more than me.
AND most of them are below preschool age. It sucks when your grand children are all growing up.
I feel like when my kids all ran away from home at 18 or in BD's case 21. All my little sources of joy are becoming little people.
Job may be winning on this one since I still get to see most of them weekly.
Problem #3:
Money. However NOBODY wants to hear this one cuz we are all poor.
So I have neither won or lost this pity party with the Prophet of old. Maybe I'll do blessings next.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The day has arrived!

I bought myself a video camera.
I have wanted one since I borrowed Joshua's VHS camera and took several tapes of Dakota age 3 then, now 14. It was like heaven then and it was the size of a toaster. Now my camera is finally here and it is the size of my wallet.
It is very small and wonderful. Robert even gave me a memory card for it. I feel like all I need is a few weeks to learn how to take video's and I will be all set!

I also am finally done with the Pneumonia! The month of August is and has always been my least favorite month. Hot, hot, hot. Long. and hot. I hate hot. I do not have a/c at my house and the one at work doesn't work in my area. Of course it is an Arctic frost maker, but in the front where I sit it is at least 20 degrees hotter than everywhere else in the building. And the Pneumonia has lingered like leprosy or something. Also with it came diarrhea from the antibiotics.
So the month I most dread has morphed into a giant crap festival with a coughing hack on top.
But it is in the past now and I am glad I lived to tell of it.
The Princess will be 5 on Sunday!!
Happy Birthday PPP

Friday, August 6, 2010

The passing of a Father

For those of you who randomly search my engine from time to time. Warren, the father of my children has passed away.
The girls have been very upset over this and they all went to Utah for a gigantic funeral / family reunion.
I remember when my dad passed, and everyone thought I should not be upset. We were not close but he was my father.
Some of his personality rubbed off on me from constant exposure. I am sure some of Warren's personality rubbed off
on the girls during his every-other weekend visits. But soon the tears and sadness will settle down and they will learn to live with the consequences of not having a dad around. I never saw my dad that much after leaving home. But still, having
one you knew was there was comforting. When the kids used to visit, I sent his childhood Christmas Stocking with them one year so he could have it back. I had found it in our Christmas Decorations box and did not want to do anything
to it or with it, so I sent it back. He actually called me and thanked me as his mother made the stocking herself and he had used it for years and years.

A great number of people came to the funeral and other services. As all of them are in Utah, there is a big meeting today and tomorrow for the family.

Good bye Warren, I wish you well in the sky.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The cigarette mystery

There is someone smoking in my work bathroom! This would not even be a mystery if I weren't the ONLY woman working for this company.
Yes, there is 1 count em' ONE women's restroom here and some crappy little smoking man is going in there for a cigarette at break time.
I have personal hygiene stuff in there which now smells like the mattress at a cheap motel.
Once, when I took the kids to California we got stuck in Winnemucca and the kids and I slept on two of the most smoke saturated mattresses in the world. It was so gross. You could almost see the smoke coming up out of the bed when someone moved, like big clouds of brown yuck.
The shower spat brown water at me for the first few seconds and I could tell that this hotel room did not get many over-night guests. And that I should have toughed it out for a few more miles and got a non-smokers room... ANYWHERE else.
That's how my bathroom smells right now.
There are 3 restrooms for men here in this building. There are 2 more in the other building. There are 5 giant bay doors (all open) to go outside and smoke in the shop. And we are talking a lot closer to where anyone might be working than my tiny little water closet. In fact, you have to come through at least 2 separate doors to get to my bathroom.
It states on the door in bold carved writing "WOMEN". It has a picture of a woman for those employees who can't read. AND a brail note in case you're blind with the need to pee.
You can wash your hands, use the toilet, and open the door at the same time in my bathroom. And my grandkids go in there when we clean at night. Now it stinks, and that smell just won't go away.
I'll catch him and crush all his cigarettes.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Did you mean Bunny?

I was surfing the internet for a good pix for my desktop and discovered there are 3 things I really hate about searching for stuff online.

1. I hate when Windows interupts my search to ask me if I really wanted to do whatever I asked the internet for.

2. I double hate when the darn keyboard skips to a random spot in my typing and just puts some random character in, or worse yet skips to searching for my typo. Did I just say typo? Yes, TYPO. I make a typographical error and the computer smart ass police ask me "Did you mean" whatever I really meant.

3. I triple hate pop ups. Want a new litte emoticon? No, or else I would be typing "emoticons", not "picture of bunny". Would you like to meet singles in your town? No, or else you would be a different search engine... Lookalike Brad Pitt men over 55 or something.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I have a secret lawn mower

Dakota is here for the summer and yesterday he went outside to "secretly" mow the grass for me. The big green pile of clippings all over the sidewalk gave it away. There is a swath about 4 feet wide and 2 feet long which is now a quarter inch high surrounded by 30 square feet of tall grass. It looks like he chewed it off in other spots. Maybe he hired a goat? Anyway today Joshua brought me his lawn mower to do it with. Dakota was using a weed whacker (and the goat).
Next week I have an adjuster coming to see me to get life insurance. I am also filling out my will and my living will soon.
Tobi asked me to do these things.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Night Sky Bunny

The days are hot here now, so are the nights. My room was so hot Monday I thought I would pass out. Tobi comes home from Utah today where she went to see her step sisters and Carrie Jo Mock. Sorry, Carrie you will always be Carrie Jo Mock to me. Anyway Carrie has a baby and she is so cute. And Tobi had basically a crappy trip so enough about that. I had a great time with the kiddies before she cut out on me so I am looking forward to more great times with the kiddies.
Britt shaved the boys heads in an effort to cool them off. They both look like a poodle gone wrong.
Maybe I should edit this comment?
OK they both look bald. Is that a kinder statement?
Anyway this blog was about night sky bunnyay. Doesn't it look cool?
Tobi did it of course. I majorly suck at blog backgrounds.
Broke as a joke, tired and bored. How are you?

Saturday, June 19, 2010


Yesterday I was busted big time running my mouth. Oh well, people who listen at doors never hear anything good about themselves. or is it self's? I think she already knew how I felt about her, but anyway today we had to go to that persons house AND I had to suffer with her roommate who smokes "UCK" for 4 hours while she sat in the front yard with her new dog. So I guess I paid for it..
I got lost on the way home too. I am called Miss-direction by anyone who knows me well. When I answer the phone at work and some truck driver from out of Colorado wants directions, I say "Please hold while I get someone who knows.".
Cause believe me, I do not know. I have spent most of my life in Colorado but that East, West, North, South thing does NOT work for my brain in any state.
But alas I have wandered off the path of the topic of this blog. Did I speak evil of my Daughter in law? Yes I did. Whether or not it is truth or speculation is another subject entirely but I still should have not done it. So I spent the day feeling guilty and holding the cutest baby I have seen since Cora Louise started looking like a toddler. Again I have wandered off the path of guilt and onto cuteness.
I guess I don't really feel all that guilty after all.

Friday, June 11, 2010

The next great Novella?

I am of 2 minds on the latest Twilight installment.
OK it was good, but it also was short.
It was worth reading, but the inevitable conclusion is: She dies.
I was donating to a worthy cause, but the price nearly blew my sox off.
A Novella for $10.00 at WalMart? Imagine what it is at Barnes & Noble.
If you are donating a dollar of every book to the Red Cross, it doesn't cost
you anything if you raise the price, so are you really donating; or am I?
On the one hand it is worth reading just about anything Stephanie prints
On the other hand, it left me wondering what happened to Fred.
My daughter is boycotting the book because it is so small and she feels cheated like Stephanie just slapped something together to appease those of us waiting for the next great work from this author. I am lazy, and starved for more, so I read it.
However, after reading it I do feel cheated ... a little.
Come on Stephanie, get off your laurels and write.