Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Jack & the beanstalk

Today at work I placed my hand on my chin and discovered that I am growing a beard. I have 3, count 'em with me, t-h-r-e-e hairs on my chin! Not just 3 little fuzzy hair's either. There are 3 giant, black, quarter inch long, spiky hairs poking out of my face.
I did not even know they existed until a year ago when I found what I thought was a dog hair stuck on my face was actually growing out of my chin. This sucker was at least 2 inches long and about as black as night with grey highlights. (Like black hair growing out of your face isn't bad enough, it truly had highlights) I had missed a giant black curly hair that size?
Oh the shame, to be female and have a hair growing on your chin you did not notice. I plucked it out without a second thought. The next day I found the second hair. Close to the hole where the first one had been, but it seemed to have been partially shaved off because it was only about one half inch long. So I went home and repeated the process again. Third day, third hair.
Thus began the quest for the fuzz-free face.
It isn't like I eat prenatal vitamins or use hair fertilizing tonics for balding men or anything.
I sit each night and pluck. Then at least once a week I shave with various shaving tools for an extended period of time. I have a thousand watt, magnification 200x lighted mirror by my desk which I fire up each night and search for the hairs. I re shave and re pluck and move the bat light around to see my face from every angle until I have flash photo eyes and my skin is too hot to touch, and still
I have 3 hairs erupting like grapevines out of my chin.
Jack's beanstalk did not grow this fast.
I think they must be ninja master hairs and can blend in with my chin until about 3 when their powers are weakest and they become visible again.

1 comment:

  1. I have one super long hair on my neck. But it's white so I never know it's there until I accidently catch it on something.