Sunday, December 12, 2010
early what?
So we had an early Christmas at my daughters house. Since I survived that, I can live through anything. On the way home Kale said, and I quote: "I was a little angel at the early Christmas". I told Brittany to step on the gas so we would be missed by the lightning bolt which was sure to follow. The kids were actually very close to good, however angelic was NOT on the list of adjectives I would apply to any description of their behavior. For some reason the turkey did not turn out and took 2 extra hours to be done. All the kids were starving and very crabby by the time food was available. Also, the trip was punctuated by several whining complaints about how the kids were "bored". I don't want to get on that subject because it makes me very angry. Later after we got home and they quieted down to a dull roar spinning lightsabres and all, we discussed the merits of "angelic" silence.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
It's begining to look a lot like crisis
It is 6:35am and I am up and not functioning in a good way. Because we have no water! What a crap morning.
Before 8am I have to:
Go to work
Wash my hair and other places in the restroom sink
Go to the bank at 7am and make a deposit
Call the water company and possibly schedule the water back on today
Then start my workday
Perhaps this is a good day to call in sick?
The whys of this are not as important as the logistical snaffu of it. I get home at 5 or so every evening. The water company closes at 5:30. Do the 1/2 hour math on this one while holding on the phone for "the next available representative" after the 23 minute button pushing session to English, account #, what did you want, I'm sorry that is not a valid entry, marathon. Yea, they got cha. At 5:30pm exactly the phone cuts off and says that they are now closed. Now don't get me wrong this is not a rant on the water company, I created this problem by choosing to eat over paying the water bill but come on guys could you make it any harder to pay? No they could not.
This will educate me for bill collectors in the future. I am modeling my answering machine after the water company's.
Before 8am I have to:
Go to work
Wash my hair and other places in the restroom sink
Go to the bank at 7am and make a deposit
Call the water company and possibly schedule the water back on today
Then start my workday
Perhaps this is a good day to call in sick?
The whys of this are not as important as the logistical snaffu of it. I get home at 5 or so every evening. The water company closes at 5:30. Do the 1/2 hour math on this one while holding on the phone for "the next available representative" after the 23 minute button pushing session to English, account #, what did you want, I'm sorry that is not a valid entry, marathon. Yea, they got cha. At 5:30pm exactly the phone cuts off and says that they are now closed. Now don't get me wrong this is not a rant on the water company, I created this problem by choosing to eat over paying the water bill but come on guys could you make it any harder to pay? No they could not.
This will educate me for bill collectors in the future. I am modeling my answering machine after the water company's.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The fake son in law grin
Hipp Hipp Horay We have the Fake Son In Law Grin back for Christmas from Afghoweverinheckuspellit. He got here tonight. I can not wait to see the video of the reunion. There are several reasons I am glad to have him home.
1. While he was away I had many epiphanies regarding what he could be doing for us poor helpless womenfolk.
2. He was not here to let Tobi cry on his shoulder when her dad passed.
3. Man is the princess needy, she lost 1/2 her audience while he was gone.
4. I want to pick his brain and (battalion) and have him help us get an Army man for BD.
5. And maybe most importantly We get 2 Christmas' this year.
1. While he was away I had many epiphanies regarding what he could be doing for us poor helpless womenfolk.
2. He was not here to let Tobi cry on his shoulder when her dad passed.
3. Man is the princess needy, she lost 1/2 her audience while he was gone.
4. I want to pick his brain and (battalion) and have him help us get an Army man for BD.
5. And maybe most importantly We get 2 Christmas' this year.
Friday, October 15, 2010
The 5th Monday of the week.
This week has sucked beyond all reckoning. Monday (the first one) I almost lost my job over something I did at work 3 years ago. I billed a company for a $210.00 per hour job at $ 210.00 a day. Needless to say the boss was involved in the discussion on how badly I screwed up. ( I wanted to say, "Gee maybe if someone noticed sooner, this would not have happened." But since that would probably have been the first nail in my coffin, I didn't say that. )
Tuesday (or second Monday as I like to think of it) Kale and Phoenix threw up on the way to school. While Phoenix was laying on the floor that night feeling really ill, Kale beat the dog snot out of Phoenix to the point that it looks like Phoenix was beaten by one of us older, stronger adults. His face, arms, and neck look terrible. To understand how horrible this is you have to understand Phoenix will be a fiction writer when he grows up. He has already started telling tall tales to me about how his mother "slapped him" out of his highchair when he was 3 because he would not eat. First of all, I would have made mince meat out of her if she had touched him. Secondly, if you saw Phoenix you would know he has never missed a meal and will eat virtually anything that doesn't crawl off the plate he is like 108 pounds at 8. So I knew we would be in for it either way when he got to school on Wednesday because the first thing the school does when a kid comes in with obvious marks is march that child down to the social services officer to be questioned. Seriously, he can not tell the truth that his 5 year old 38 pound brother whipped his fanny. That would be humiliating. So I could just see the police and Social services all over us. I spent the evening making him admit the truth to me over and over so we would not be facing jail time come Wednesday.
Wednesday when we got home from work there were news cameramen all over our block. Yes, we live in a crappy neighborhood with crack houses, knifing, shootings, gangs, etc.. But not that bad. I didn't think. So before we could go to the second job we had to hide out in the house waiting for the paparazzi to clear out. Meanwhile, I hear a giant screaming fit upstairs (that would be Kale). I'm talking loud. The paparazzi probably came down to our house at that point. Phoenix had turned on the second TV and it was louder than Kale's video game which of course could not be tolerated.
Thursday I had a doctors appointment. "lose weight, bla bla, exercise bla, hows your diet... bla bla"
Today is Friday. Half the job sucks and I work on that side. I forgot my lunch. My boss skived off after 10 am to go golf. The substitute dispatcher is the only guy working here I can't stand. I have a pounding headache and it is only noon.
Lunch break is over... back to work.
Tuesday (or second Monday as I like to think of it) Kale and Phoenix threw up on the way to school. While Phoenix was laying on the floor that night feeling really ill, Kale beat the dog snot out of Phoenix to the point that it looks like Phoenix was beaten by one of us older, stronger adults. His face, arms, and neck look terrible. To understand how horrible this is you have to understand Phoenix will be a fiction writer when he grows up. He has already started telling tall tales to me about how his mother "slapped him" out of his highchair when he was 3 because he would not eat. First of all, I would have made mince meat out of her if she had touched him. Secondly, if you saw Phoenix you would know he has never missed a meal and will eat virtually anything that doesn't crawl off the plate he is like 108 pounds at 8. So I knew we would be in for it either way when he got to school on Wednesday because the first thing the school does when a kid comes in with obvious marks is march that child down to the social services officer to be questioned. Seriously, he can not tell the truth that his 5 year old 38 pound brother whipped his fanny. That would be humiliating. So I could just see the police and Social services all over us. I spent the evening making him admit the truth to me over and over so we would not be facing jail time come Wednesday.
Wednesday when we got home from work there were news cameramen all over our block. Yes, we live in a crappy neighborhood with crack houses, knifing, shootings, gangs, etc.. But not that bad. I didn't think. So before we could go to the second job we had to hide out in the house waiting for the paparazzi to clear out. Meanwhile, I hear a giant screaming fit upstairs (that would be Kale). I'm talking loud. The paparazzi probably came down to our house at that point. Phoenix had turned on the second TV and it was louder than Kale's video game which of course could not be tolerated.
Thursday I had a doctors appointment. "lose weight, bla bla, exercise bla, hows your diet... bla bla"
Today is Friday. Half the job sucks and I work on that side. I forgot my lunch. My boss skived off after 10 am to go golf. The substitute dispatcher is the only guy working here I can't stand. I have a pounding headache and it is only noon.
Lunch break is over... back to work.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
You WHAT?
As a sane, rational, normal Mother I have always given my children sage advice for life.
For example:
If you sit that close to the TV, you'll go blind.
Do not play with fire OR ever light the school on fire again.
Do not put anything smaller than your elbow in your nose.
Don't play in the street and look both ways before you cross the street.
Especially for my son: Marry in haste, repent at HER leisure with your money.
These are just a few of the bits of wisdom I have dispensed during their growing up years, and since they left the nest I have continued to add to this collection every now and then with advice from the Mothership.
Not that I am bossy or anything, but the phrase "Didn't I tell you not to" has prefaced many a (clearing of throat here) short talk on whichever catastrophic consequence just befell them.
And so I went blithely along thinking all my children were well grounded and practicing safety and relative sanity since the wrath of Mom meant one of these "short talks" AND I certainly had all my bases covered.
I did not think I needed to say "Never jump out of an airplane".
Then Tobi went and jumped out of an airplane. With about 1 hours training. With her fellow Mother of small children cousin Jennifer. Here in Colorado. Wearing nothing but matching t-shirts and jeans.
(Has anyone here seen those blow up sumo wrestling suits?)
What in the world would possess a 29 year old mother of 2 to jump from a plane? I don't care if Brad Pitt and a million dollars was on the ground right below me for the taking, I just can not imagine doing it.
Now in her defense, she screamed like a little girl and had to be thrown out of the plane. This shows a level of sanity I have come to expect from someone with my upbringing under her belt.
So I am
OFFICIALLY
Saying it
NEVER JUMP OUT OF A PLANE.
For example:
If you sit that close to the TV, you'll go blind.
Do not play with fire OR ever light the school on fire again.
Do not put anything smaller than your elbow in your nose.
Don't play in the street and look both ways before you cross the street.
Especially for my son: Marry in haste, repent at HER leisure with your money.
These are just a few of the bits of wisdom I have dispensed during their growing up years, and since they left the nest I have continued to add to this collection every now and then with advice from the Mothership.
Not that I am bossy or anything, but the phrase "Didn't I tell you not to" has prefaced many a (clearing of throat here) short talk on whichever catastrophic consequence just befell them.
And so I went blithely along thinking all my children were well grounded and practicing safety and relative sanity since the wrath of Mom meant one of these "short talks" AND I certainly had all my bases covered.
I did not think I needed to say "Never jump out of an airplane".
Then Tobi went and jumped out of an airplane. With about 1 hours training. With her fellow Mother of small children cousin Jennifer. Here in Colorado. Wearing nothing but matching t-shirts and jeans.
(Has anyone here seen those blow up sumo wrestling suits?)
What in the world would possess a 29 year old mother of 2 to jump from a plane? I don't care if Brad Pitt and a million dollars was on the ground right below me for the taking, I just can not imagine doing it.
Now in her defense, she screamed like a little girl and had to be thrown out of the plane. This shows a level of sanity I have come to expect from someone with my upbringing under her belt.
So I am
OFFICIALLY
Saying it
NEVER JUMP OUT OF A PLANE.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Fare thee well to the blues
Today I smashed another PortKey on the way to work and wondered if I have a manic depressive disease as I giggled gleefully down the road. Yesterday was blue, today is ultra cheerful. Well, not exactly ultra cheerful but so much better it is opposite.
Every morning for the last 2 or so years I have smashed a blue Pepsi can with my car tire on the way to work under a double bridge. It is always in the same spot, before the first bridge about 2 feet out away from it. After the 1st year of this BD and I started making up stories about how it is a "PortKey" from Harry Potter and there is a Wizard using these Pepsi cans to get to the Dragon Hatchery every morning. The place is really a refinery and smells terrible, spouts flames, has a huge holding tank... If you've read HP, you get the point. Anyway, the can is missing every once in a while and I wonder if today will be the day my secret Pepsi dropper stops dropping his can in the same spot.
I can't imagine what possesses whoever it is to drop a pop can with the top facing the same way in almost the exact same spot every day. I used to think well here is where he finishes it on the way to work and so he tosses the can out. But every day? Facing the same way? Always a Pepsi can? For 2 years? It is not like this spot is convenient either. It is under a double bridge for trains so I know it can not be coming from above. It would roll and be in a different spot now and then if it was not being placed carefully since this is a road, not a basket.
I also saw a couple of squibs cleaning up all the flattened cans a couple of times. Actually they were very strangely dressed with a basket and collecting cans on a tiny little-known road under a bridge in Commerce City, but hey can collecting is a job now a days, isn't it?
Anyway now it is several days later, the blues are gone and it is a new week! Happy Birthday to Phoenix!
Every morning for the last 2 or so years I have smashed a blue Pepsi can with my car tire on the way to work under a double bridge. It is always in the same spot, before the first bridge about 2 feet out away from it. After the 1st year of this BD and I started making up stories about how it is a "PortKey" from Harry Potter and there is a Wizard using these Pepsi cans to get to the Dragon Hatchery every morning. The place is really a refinery and smells terrible, spouts flames, has a huge holding tank... If you've read HP, you get the point. Anyway, the can is missing every once in a while and I wonder if today will be the day my secret Pepsi dropper stops dropping his can in the same spot.
I can't imagine what possesses whoever it is to drop a pop can with the top facing the same way in almost the exact same spot every day. I used to think well here is where he finishes it on the way to work and so he tosses the can out. But every day? Facing the same way? Always a Pepsi can? For 2 years? It is not like this spot is convenient either. It is under a double bridge for trains so I know it can not be coming from above. It would roll and be in a different spot now and then if it was not being placed carefully since this is a road, not a basket.
I also saw a couple of squibs cleaning up all the flattened cans a couple of times. Actually they were very strangely dressed with a basket and collecting cans on a tiny little-known road under a bridge in Commerce City, but hey can collecting is a job now a days, isn't it?
Anyway now it is several days later, the blues are gone and it is a new week! Happy Birthday to Phoenix!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Ode to a dear friend
Today I am fighting the battle with the blues
I am fine most of the time, but sometimes I slap my cheerfulness aside
and have a wallow in "poor poor pitiful me". The last few days have been like this. Wage cuts at work have crippled us financially. We can't go to movies, or eat out, or buy clothes...anymore. Since I am an hourly employee with NO vacation or paid time off I can not afford to take any time off work either. One of my co-workers had surgery and this is his 6th week of part time. After taking a couple weeks off to recover. Now here is the clincher.. He is going out tomorrow with his friends to lunch. I know what you are thinking: He can't exist for long on part time wages. No, he is salary so he is NOT being paid at the part time rate. He is being paid to be there all day whether or not he shows up. Every day at the end of my 9 hour day, when I did not even get to go to the bathroom without forwarding the phones to my cell, I think to myself "Well if I had a kidney removed, I would want people around me to pick up the slack also." Then today he announces he is going out to lunch with his buddies tomorrow. Like showing up at 10am and leaving at 2pm is not a slap in the face enough. He is going out partying tomorrow for probably his usual hour and 45 minutes.Come on guy. If you are well enough to slurp margaritas and Mexican food, you're well enough for work where you sit on a chair all day and type.
Now for the other source of my blues: my second job. Today my boss offered to let me and Brittany make some extra $. He wants us to clean a filthy warehouse with mouse doodoo, live rats, foxes, squirrels, and bugs, etc.. for $12.00 an hour. I mean OK it is cleaning and we already do clean the other place but I keep thinking the guy means to make up for the inequity in making someone take a pay cut who was already making way less than half what the others were making. AND working 2 jobs for him to make ends meet.
There is a guy at my work who makes over $30.00 per hour. My boss lets him have a company car and phone. This guy lies on his hours constantly and they let it slide. He refuses to come to work a lot and they let it slide. He breaks the rules a lot and they let it slide. Have I mentioned I do the payroll? This is an every week thing.
Screw it, I will go to work. I will do my fair share and the extra which has fallen on my lap. I will take my $11.90 per hour and eat hot dogs with the kids and attempt to be grateful. I am blessed. And I have 2 jobs.
I am fine most of the time, but sometimes I slap my cheerfulness aside
and have a wallow in "poor poor pitiful me". The last few days have been like this. Wage cuts at work have crippled us financially. We can't go to movies, or eat out, or buy clothes...anymore. Since I am an hourly employee with NO vacation or paid time off I can not afford to take any time off work either. One of my co-workers had surgery and this is his 6th week of part time. After taking a couple weeks off to recover. Now here is the clincher.. He is going out tomorrow with his friends to lunch. I know what you are thinking: He can't exist for long on part time wages. No, he is salary so he is NOT being paid at the part time rate. He is being paid to be there all day whether or not he shows up. Every day at the end of my 9 hour day, when I did not even get to go to the bathroom without forwarding the phones to my cell, I think to myself "Well if I had a kidney removed, I would want people around me to pick up the slack also." Then today he announces he is going out to lunch with his buddies tomorrow. Like showing up at 10am and leaving at 2pm is not a slap in the face enough. He is going out partying tomorrow for probably his usual hour and 45 minutes.Come on guy. If you are well enough to slurp margaritas and Mexican food, you're well enough for work where you sit on a chair all day and type.
Now for the other source of my blues: my second job. Today my boss offered to let me and Brittany make some extra $. He wants us to clean a filthy warehouse with mouse doodoo, live rats, foxes, squirrels, and bugs, etc.. for $12.00 an hour. I mean OK it is cleaning and we already do clean the other place but I keep thinking the guy means to make up for the inequity in making someone take a pay cut who was already making way less than half what the others were making. AND working 2 jobs for him to make ends meet.
There is a guy at my work who makes over $30.00 per hour. My boss lets him have a company car and phone. This guy lies on his hours constantly and they let it slide. He refuses to come to work a lot and they let it slide. He breaks the rules a lot and they let it slide. Have I mentioned I do the payroll? This is an every week thing.
Screw it, I will go to work. I will do my fair share and the extra which has fallen on my lap. I will take my $11.90 per hour and eat hot dogs with the kids and attempt to be grateful. I am blessed. And I have 2 jobs.
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